wordplay part deux

How to Not Say What You Mean: A Dictionary of Euphemisms, is the title of a great book. I’ve enjoyed reading it over the years, even dragging it out on occasion at get togethers for a guaranteed laugh. I think that’s where I learned the real meaning of deadline (see previous post).

In marketing, we’re often called upon to tell stories that don’t always want to be told. Some things are easier to sell than others. Some messages are easier to deliver than others. This is why I love euphemisms so.

My favourite euphemisms, I think, are the ones used by my dad. I think it can be hard for parents to say what they really mean. Especially when they see their wee babes grow up and make choices they never would have made.  One that comes to mind, is his way of describing people he doesn’t always understand (and I’m sure I’ve fallen into that category from time to time) “a few sandwiches short of a picnic“. Another, attributed to a writer describing President Bush is “born on second base, thought he hit a triple” my dad’s way of discrediting some “over-entitled” elected official. And I can’t say that I blame him.

I think, in general,  it may be hard for many of us to say what we really mean. Which is probably why we often say something vague, then tilt our head and say “you know what I mean” – as in, “please don’t make me say it out loud”.

Some other euphemisms that are well used and, in my case, not always completely understood include:

(thank you http://www.phrases.org.uk for everything here in italics)

Take it with a grain of salt

Meaning

To take a statement with ‘a grain of salt’ or ‘a pinch of salt’ means to accept it but to maintain a degree of skepticism about its truth.

Origin

The idea comes from the fact that food is more easily swallowed if taken with a small amount of salt.

Cut off your nose to spite your face

Meaning

Disadvantage yourself in order to do harm to an adversary.

Looking a gift horse in the mouth

Meaning

Don’t be ungrateful when you receive a gift.

Origin

As horses age their teeth begin to project further forward each year and so their age can be estimated by checking how prominent the teeth are. This incidentally is also the source of another teeth/age related phrase –  long in the tooth

… when given a present, be grateful for your good fortune and don’t look for more by examining it to assess its value.

Three sheets to the wind

Meaning

Very drunk.

Origin

If three sheets (or sails) are loose and blowing about in the wind then the sails will flap and the boat will lurch about like a drunken sailor.

In a pickle

Meaning

In a quandary or some other difficult position.

Origin

… an allusion to being as disoriented and mixed up as the stewed vegetables that made up pickles.

Let the cat out of the bag

Meaning

Disclose a secret.

Origin

… relates to the fraud of substituting a cat for a piglet at markets. If you let the cat out of the bag you disclosed the trick

While it would probably be more honest to just say what we really mean, excuse my french (forgive me my strong language – In the 19th century, when English people used French expressions in conversation they often apologised for it – presumably because many of their listeners (then as now) wouldn’t be familiar with the language), and I feel strongly that I can use this, as I am French afterall, hence the reason I don’t always get these english inside jokes, it’s just that much more fun.

word play

In marketing, words are play things – like the gazillion lego strewn across my living room – and I get to play with them (and sometimes the lego) most every day.

Like lego, there are many pieces that don’t always fit. here are a few of those misfit pieces.

double entendre or double entente

I heard Nancy Grace use “double entendre” in one of her infuriating interviews and I got to thinking – is that really right? Double Entendre, literally translated means double hearing or listening. It’s double entente that means double meaning. So while it may be helpful to listen twice, it’s really a double entente you’re going for.

party gifts or parting gifts

As a kid, I always wondered. Do game show contestants who lose get party gifts or parting gifts? Either are a nice gesture. I still can’t be sure. You get gifts because you’re parting from the show – but it’s a party just to win something, isn’t it?

regardless or irregardless

Well, regardless of what you’re defending, please if you want to add some irr to it, chose irrespective. Everytime I hear someone use irregardless in an interview, I tumble off the train of thought.

speciality or specialty

Is speciality even a word? Or is it a pseudo fancy way of saying specialty? So just say that. Less is more.

on the wagon, off the wagon

Made famous, as many things are, by an episode of Seinfeld, I never know what means what, so I looked it up on phrases.org.uk – here’s the verdict.

Various language sites state that The “wagon” in “on the wagon” refers to a fixture of America’s past, the water wagon. Before roads were routinely paved, municipalities would dispatch horse-drawn water wagons to spray the streets in order to prevent the clouds of dust that traffic would otherwise cause. Anyone who had sworn abstinence from alcohol (and would presumably be drinking largely water from then on) was said to have “climbed aboard the water wagon,” later shortened to “on the wagon.”

and here I thought it was chuck wagon drivers and camp cooks who were drinking rum during the long journeys west. Shows you what I know.

on a deadline

and my favourite word to play with is deadline. Again, in marketing we play with these most every day. The actual meaning of which, it may interest you to know, is the line past which a prisoner can be shot dead. So if I seem a bit stressed next time our paths cross, don’t take it personal (heard that one before, eh) – i mean personally, I’m just avoiding some friendly fire. Speaking of which, there’s a whole new topic to consider – euphemisms –  the art of not saying what you really mean.  But, for now, it’s back to the yard.

thanks tim

appreciate your help

Putting an “i” in team

I have noticed a disturbing trend in public discourse of late. Used to be that joining a group was a good thing. These days, it seems to be met with such disdain, you’d think the mere act of publicly participating in a cause that matters to you is an act of subversion, revolt or even destruction.

A few cases in point. I was struck this time last year when GM almost single handedly sunk the US economy (and much of southern Ontario’s too for that matter) that the blame was put squarely on the unions’ shoulders. Excuse me? The work of those union members garnered the fat cat execs and lucky shareholders a fair bit of coin in the good old days. But somehow, the workers made too much money. I don’t know how many times I heard that argument. It was surprising to hear people, who, had they lived in Southern Ontario as friends of mine did, would likely have been 25 year card-carrying auto workers themselves, building homes, educating children,  and supporting groups in their community.

Where do we get off saying “they” make too much money for what “they” do. And therein lies the irony. It’s easy to criticize them – they – those guys, that group. We are humans and humans at their very best interact, cooperate, agree, move forward and make things happen.  And yet, when we do this as a labeled group, we seem to expose ourselves to target practice from the disgruntled individual or, ironically, the biggest groups of all, private corporations and public institutions. I don’t get it.

Another case in point. In recent years, two groups have formed in Salmon Arm in support of sustainable community development and environmentally sensitive eco-systems. Salmon Arm is a charming town on the shores of a beautiful lake, after all. It was bound to happen. Both groups, by defacto, reasonably oppose the huge big box mart shopping hub proposed by Smart Centres for the edge of town. But to note the criticism of these groups on blogs, forums, letters to the editor and coffee shop conversations, you’d think it was a secret society full of skullduggery, secret ambition and clever conceit. Do they have secret agendas? Are they being honest? Aren’t they fooling the poor silent majority? So much so that Smart Centres (ironically neither smart not central so far in this debate), posted a brochure designed for one of these community group on their own website and had the nerve to change the graphics under the guise of “updating” the public on misleading information published by a “special” interest group. Give me a break. Smart Centres is going to protect the poor confused citizens of Salmon Arm? I beg to differ. How insulting.

And a final case, closer to my heart. I worked on a community effort (I dare not use the G for Group of C for Committee words, lest I be labelled a subversive) to help save North Canoe Elementary School in my community. We, as a collective of individuals, decided on a neighbourly approach. We did door to door surveys, we collected names on a petition, we started a facebook page and we built a website. We put up signs and we had meetings, lots and lots of meetings. We stayed in contact with the School Board. We were told our efforts were honourable and our fight was worthwhile but it might be beyond anyone’s control. The BC Government mandates School Districts to balance their budget. They were legally bound to make the expenses match the revenues. Trouble is, with declining enrollment, the revenues are shrinking. Add to that an increase in Medical Services Plan premiums, the first of a three year legislated increase to teachers salaries, and the impending HST, the numbers just wouldn’t work. Now, after all was said and done, North Canoe school was spared. But quite possibly at the expense of a smaller, more remote community school in Malakwa. Bitter sweet at best. Then came news that the BC Government wasn’t much interested in hearing what “groups” had to say anyway. Just ask any representative of teachers or other unions working in the school system. They’re really only interested in what the voters have to say as individuals. What, each of us, individually? How likely is that? Groups are an important part of representational democracy, are they not? In response, parents heading up the local DPAC (District Parents Advisory Committee) have spearheaded an effort to give all parents of students in our district a postcard that they, in turn, can send to their MLA (via school PACs)  requesting that school districts be properly funded to meet the financial obligations imposed on them by the provincial government. Can you spell vicious circle? So when your kids head back to school come March 22, check their backpacks for the postcard. You can put and “i” in team by signing your name and sending it back to school with the kids. When we act as a team, good things happen.

Say what you have to say. Join what you want to join. Do it with honesty. Do it with intention. Just so long as you do it. How else can we become a winning team?

I, for one, will appreciate it. Afterall, critic has two “i”s where team has none. Time to even that score, n’est ce pas?

why hockey matters so

Now this is coming from an avid art lover and political junkie – I think I’ve fallen under the spell of hockey. Why does it define us so? What can we learn from it? It’s expensive. It eats up evenings and weekends. It’s solitary in a way. When your kids play hockey, you sit and watch while they get some exercise.

If your family skis at least you all get a bit of a workout. And at last check, a ski pass for a family of four pales in comparison to a single season of hockey including fees, ice time, tournaments never mind trips to Tim Hortons. Yet skiing is considered a luxury. I’m not convinced I could afford to put my kids in hockey. But I can afford a few trips down the peanut trail at Silver Star every winter. I think the hot chocolate at Bugaboos is the luxurious part. But I digress.

So what’s the point? Is it because we can all watch hockey even if we can’t all play – well at least I can’t play – despite joining a woman’s rec league this year. But  I enjoyed it. That’s the important part. And I finally know what icing and off side mean. Not that it helped me any watching the Olympic tournament.

What captivates us so about “the” game? Is it the players? Each generation had its faves. Maurice Richard (if you can spare 10 minutes, watch this nfb video: http://www.nfb.ca/film/sweater/), Gordie Howe, Bobby Orr, Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux, Sidney Crosby or Halley? Is it because they do what we all wish we could?

Since the big game, my kids and the neighbours’ kids have dug out the sticks and the hockey balls taking turns being Team Canada and Crosby and Luongo. It’s a delight. And I’m grateful when I see their lovely rosy cheeks after an afternoon in the back alley.

Maybe hockey knows no bounds. Player or not, we can talk about it. Analyze it. Joke about it. Share it. Belong to it.

My favourite promotional clip from the Olympics was the skater racing along the frozen lake. What freedom. As a former figure skater, I loved that feeling. That few minutes of solitary ice time. Me and my skates. To this day, my least four favourite words in the english language are “please clear the ice”. But the disappointment is quickly diminished by the sound and the zen of the Zamboni going round and round. Making it all better like a kiss on a scraped knee from a loving parent. The fun begins again. Even if, in your neighbourhood as well as in mine,  there are two Luongos in goal and ten Crosbys on ice and Team Canada is playing against Team Canada yet again, when you cheer them on, we all feel good.

See you at the game!

what we own

I’m posting this hours before “la grande finale olympique” – the Gold Medal Hockey Game, followed closely by “la grande fin olympique” – the closing ceremonies, because whether it’s a gold or silver today, what we have come to own these last two weeks are the moments that will stitch themselves like canada flags on the backpack of our collective memories.

It’s not the podium we own
It’s a new found sense of home

It’s the CAN-ADA jackets we zip
Watching Joannie land a triple flip

It’s the maple leaf tatoos we don
To cheer when the hockey games are on

It’s the pitcher of beer we share
With the fans who helped get athletes there

It’s the friendly face of the volunteer
Who understands our need to be here

It’s the kinder words of the world press
Who now know what makes us different makes us best

It’s the kids who’ll remember the day
Canadian athletes showed the gold way

It’s the mom who tied her little ones skates
And shivered in the stands to watch her get great

It’s the course workers who stayed up all night
To make sure those runs were just right

It’s the zamboni driver going round and round
To ensure that olympic records were found

It’s the friends and the families who together watched
As our expectations of each other got topped

It’s Alex and his brother who remind us all
The biggest steps to victory can be ever so small

It’s the flags and the red and wild can-do cheer
Of a nation we now hold ever more dear

So Go Canada Go. And don’t ever stop
If we can do this, who knows where’s the top!

what a day!

the national anthem. twice in one day. one for yesterday’s bobsleigh, one for women’s hockey – and perhaps the greatest medal of all, Joannie’s for her mom.

GO CANADA GO!

canada-russia, the way we were

Of course, only us digital immigrants will remember the 1972 Canada Cup when Canada beat Russia. I was in Grade two. The TV was on in my school. We watched. It was a BIG DEAL. I remember the 1976 Canada Cup less however except that my parents were out of town and the babysitter was a hockey fanatic. And it seemed to me that every time she told the players to do something, they did it. So I thought twice before misbehaving under her watch. So when Canada met Russia today, I brought all that angst with me.

When I think about these games, I’m often reminded of how much Russia has changed. I remember the USSR. The long names, the fierce competitors, the incredibly moving national anthem. I was an amateur figure skater. When us small town skating club wannabe olympians watched the Russians compete, they were the enemy by virtue of how often they won. What they lacked in apparent personality, they made up for in medal count. Canadian skaters probably would have won too if their coaches were tougher. But we were soft. We couldn’t handle it. Which meant we stayed home and admired the talent on TV.

So is Russia  just like the rest of us now? So preoccupied with capitalism. spending too much time shopping and not enough time training? Even their team uniforms are, well, very western. The big red swirl design pops on a field of white. You can see them in any crowd. Any crowd. I saw a few athletes in Vancouver. They were perfectly coiffed and manicured. They even had a certain hollywood appeal. It was a fascinating surprise and reminder that things aren’t anything like they used to be.

The Russians won the medal count in 1972 and 1976. They were second to East Germany in 1980. They won in 1984 and 1988. Glasnost hit in 1989. They were second to a unified Germany in 1992. Then third in 1994 and 1998. Come 2002, they were 7th. Then 4th in Torino. At this very moment, Canada is just slightly ahead of Russia in the medal count. I can hardly believe it.

I know priorities change. It’s human nature. These days,  I think about laundry and lunches before most anything else. When I skated, I thought about how late I could go to bed and still have a half decent practice at 6 am. Turns out, 9:30 pm was the latest. So much for the social life of a teenager.

The jumps and spins and willingness to be up way before dawn to train have long left me but the wanna be competitor in me is still around. When the Russians are on, I get nervous. I’m just glad it only took a few minutes for Canada to own the rink tonight. And while I should be thinking about laundry and lunches, I might just settle in for a few more hours of Olympic TV watching. I’m a grown up now and if I want to stay up past 9:30, I’m allowed!

GO CANADA GO.

joannie

Quel courage. Quel défi.

What courage. What challenge. To face the biggest event of your life without your biggest fan. Figure skating is almost as famous for its skating mothers as for its skaters. And sadly, tonight, it’s about both. She is every mom’s daughter now. And she is the bravest child. Bravo Joannie. Bravo.

Canada-USA cliche

It is cliche of course to say that sports is a metaphor for life. But, in the full day that has past since the end of this memorable hockey showdown, I have come to acknowledge, that some cliches are worth their weight in gold.

1) It ain’t over till it’s over

Everyone watching that game had to know that up until the best empty net goal ever, things could have been much different. It came down to the last two minutes.

2) Being good isn’t good enough

The maple leaf squad is good, no question. But the US Team has lightning fast skaters. You can’t just be good – you have to keep up too. There were moments where I wasn’t sure if I was watching hockey or short track speed skating. Really really fast.

3) You can’t just shoot, you have to score

Team Canada out shot the US 4 to 1 last night and scored 3 goals. If it were a battle of effort and talent, we would have won. But it wasn’t. It’s a numbers game. Like sports, life rewards results, not efforts.

4) Locals know best

OK, I’m quite possibly Canada’s newest hockey commentator here at the Blagh Blog – and I know that Martin Brodeur is the winning-est goalie ever – but Vancouver is Luongo’s turf. Always trust the locals. He knows that rink better then any other goalie on earth. I think for this game, he should have been minding that net.

5) Don’t assume

The crowd at the game was a lopsided mix of thousands upon thousands of Team Canada hockey jerseys plus 10% navy blue USA gear. Team USA fans were polite, indeed a bit taken aback by the crowd. Some even asking to have their picture taken with the leagues of crazy canuck helmet headed, red body painted, long underwear wearing hockey fans. The party on the way to the party was more than half the fun. I assumed there might be boo-ing. There wasn’t much. I assumed there would be gloating U-S-A chants after the game. Didn’t hear much of that either. Of course, you couldn’t hear much of anything in that arena. It’s as if the USA was, gulp, humbled, by the win. A US fan I met on the bus the day before whispered to me that he “hoped we would win because we deserved it for being so nice”. No kidding. Granted, it’s not a typical american attitude. Or have I been making to many assumptions?

6) You can’t put a price on value

A fellow sitting next to us at the game paid $1,100 for his ticket. We got lucky and paid the actual ticket price. Regardless, our tickets could have fetched us a 2 week holiday anywhere in the world. Was it still worth it even if Canada lost? You bet. Those 60 minutes of drama and the full day of excitment that led up to it will last a lifetime. It was worth every penny. I suspect the fellow who paid $1,100 felt the same way too.

7) If you lose, don’t lose the lesson

And we’ll all stand by and see tomorrow when Canada (with Luongo in net) takes on Germany.

GO CANADA GO!